Virgin Butterfly
by HiyamaSenpai
Summary: Being in love is much more difficult than I thought... (YAOI Gakupo/Kaito No lemon this time :P)


A/N: PUBLISHING STREAK!

A one-shot, a four-chapter, and a new continuous fic in one day! Oh, Mein Gott! This is madness!~~

Then again, Lunacy is my middle name~

Kanra Lunacy Hiyama, right here!

Okay, losing topic! As I meant to say, I realize now that Gumi isn't older than Gakupo, but...oh well.

That is all, so...

Tanoshimu~

~HiyamaSenpai~

Being in love is much more difficult that I thought.

Wait, who am I kidding? When an assumingly straight man is the one you're in love with, the level of difficulty goes sky high.

As you probably already know, I'm Kamui Gakupo, also known as Gackpoid to some. And yes, I am the one with this whole problem with love. It's all because of my damn heart, falling for the wrong man. What is wrong with you, heart?!

Wait a sec- before I flip out on myself, I have to remember...

My mind and my heart are two separate things. They weren't made to cooperate, they were made to function properly, whether going solo or plotting together. My heart controls who I love, my brain controls my level of restraint so I don't go crazy and rape him or something.

I need to figure out my thoughts. I already know that this is completely messed up. I don't even know exactly when I began to like men! Another thing I don't know, is whether or not he likes men, which is information I need to know if I ever decide to try anything. It's also pretty much clear that Gakuko likes him too, but she can't have him.

I have a bond with him- not that he knows about it yet. But, you see, I have a secret little habit that he doesn't know about.

Every single night, I see him asleep in his room, and the demon of temptation overcomes me and practically forces me to step inside. I would always walk over to the edge of his bed, and gaze down at his peaceful face. He was so sweet...and innocent...like he could never do any wrong...

It was amazing, how nice and caring he was. Like the kind of person that if you knew him, you'd want him as a boyfriend too. But don't forget that he- Kaito, belongs to me. And only me.

I'm like, well, Kaito in that aspect. I love him more than anyone else does and there is no changing that. Ever. Period. I've spoken with Gumi about this (figured I should speak with someone older than me, y'know, experience and such), and she said that it was normal for me to be having these kinds of thoughts and attractions...but my actions...my actions she didn't care for.

She was fine when I told her the part I already told you about, but when I told her the rest...

When I told her that instead of just looking, I had been touching as well, she didn't seem very happy.

Don't go getting all these perverted thoughts in your head, I don't touch him like that. I never go below the waist- since I know that if I did that it would turn me into a sick pervert, WHICH I'M NOT! All i'd do was maybe place a hand over his cheek, parts of his neck...you know, nothing too bad.

The one part Gumi did admire, though, was when I told her that, before I left every night, I would pull the blankets over him, give him a quick kiss on the forehead and murmur into his ear; "I love you."

After I finished my happy little story, she said that I should stop with all the touchy-touchy, but going and seeing him wasn't too terrible. I asked her when I should try to make a move on him, and she suggested, "Later tonight, maybe? If you can catch him before he falls asleep." I simply nodded.

Guess it's worth a shot.

Well...night came too quickly, to say the least. After all this time, I knew that Kaito usually went to bed at roughly 9, so I made sure to be around the corner of his door by at least ten of nine. I peered in, to see him sitting cross-legged on his bed. He closes his eyes.

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep..." I didn't know he prayed at night... "If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless all the Vocaloids, especially Kamui Gakupo."

WHOA, WHAT?! He just made God bless me...hm..

"God, I need you to do me a favor. Please, just let him love me..." I need to know who him is! Is it...me...? Pfft, yeah, keep dreaming Gakupo. "I need him to love me. My heart can't take this anymore. Please, make him love me...for the love of you, just...please..." he wipes a few fresh tears from his eyes before sighing. "Amen." was his final word, before crawling under teh covers and flicking off the light.

So...he likes someone else...of course. I should've known. Probably one of the guys he's always with, like Luki or Ted or Rook. One of those guys...and not me...

I should probably make a move before he falls asleep... "Um, hey, Kaito?" he looks up at me, a small yet adorable smile gracing his features.

"Hey Gakupo. What are you doing?"

"I um...wanted to...tell you...something..."

"Ah. And that something is...?"

"..." I'm frozen. My brain just can't figure out how to say what I need to say... "K-Kaito..." is where I find myself starting. I guess it's the best place to begin, right? RIGHT?! "...I have something of great importance to tell you...and that something is..." I was starting to sound like Kiyoteru for a minute there...

"Go ahead and tell me, Gakupo. You know you can tell me anything, anything at all. I promise i won't judge you for it." This helps me regain some of my bravery. Well, more like helps me gain some bravery at all.

"You promise you won't?"

"Promise." His voice...so sweet and calm...even caring. He takes my hand in his, making my mental gears screech to a halt. But, I command my gears to continue working.

"I love you, Kaito." he stays silent.

"You...you...what?" Now i'm the silent one. He has broken his promise. Now, I bet I'm a total freak in his eyes.

"I'm sorry for weirding you out, I j-"

"What do you mean, Gakupo? You didn't weird me out...I..I...I love you too." And my heart suddenly stops beating, right then and there. I'm shocked that I didn't die at that moment, when I find out I'm having a dream come true. That this amazing boy, Kaito and all his perfection, loves me. He actually loves me...

"If you love me, am I allowed to kiss you?" he blushes a very light pink at this, squeezing my hand.

"I guess you can...but only if you want to..." Well, I want to, so I guess that means I have permission. So, I lean down slightly, just enough to place a light kiss on his lips. I bend down again, this time to give him a longer kiss.

It's so amazing. His lips are perfect- sweet and soft...just pure perfection. I gained some bravery, and licked his bottom lip gently. He opens up, and I slide my tongue past those wonderful lips and into his mouth. He tastes like candy and ice cream...delicious. I loved this so much...because after all this time I've been waiting for this, to be able to kiss him, to touch him, to just love him, it's like a miracle.

As the time passed, our kisses got rougher, and he leaned into me. I finally pull away, even though I didn't want to, and began to land kisses on his neck. I hope I was doing this right, because I've never done anything like this before and he hadn't either, as far as I knew.

"G-Gakupo...Stop..." I pull away, confusion in my eyes. It seemed like he was enjoying it, why does he want me to st-?

Oh...He's not ready to go that far yet...that's fine with me, I guess. As long as I'm still allowed to love him, that's all that matters to me.

"Can we take it slowly?" I ask, caressing his cheek with my hand. He nods.

"If that's alright with you..." I smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"It's fine. All I care about is if I still have permission to love you. But even if you denied me that, I would still love you, no matter what." he smiles back, hugging me close.

"You can love me Gakupo, If you let me love you." I nod, hugging back.

"Permission granted."


End file.
